About

I am Alex, 27 year old software developer and musician situated in Lidköping with ADHD. In this blog I and blogging about the challenging I face as I live in a small town with not so much job with my qualifications and the struggles that comes by living in a small city far from the places where things in my interest happens.

The name "Sufferbuying" is the litteral translation of the Swedish pittoresk town "Lidköping" (Suffer = lidande, Köp = buy). and is very descriptive because I suffer from being here, because I feel it is like being in prison or jail, The contact net and labor market that suit my career aren't here, and to do what I want, such taking a commitment or land a gig, I need to travel long distances which cost me a lot. It drains lot of mental energy and make me depressive.

It is worth to note Sufferbuying is however a great town it itself, it is one of Sweden's most richest cities. It has a nice environment, well cared and good environment. It is a town that suits very well for families with children and eldery, who cares about life quality before work. It was the reason my family moved to here from Stockholm and while I feel it was bad, it was probably best for me to get here when I was child, because it was an easier town to grown up in when dealing with ADHD, and think my life had been worse if I continued to grown up in Stockholm.

But in my situation, as young adult who are finding their career within music, tech, books and so, Lidköping cannot offer what I need to pursue my career. Most of my classmates I had at high school also moved away from this town after graduation as they found tech work in large towns. I was unable to do that due to my disability and struggle to find apartment.

During the years between the graduation, I've struggle to enter the work market and find a strategy for pursuing mental and physical health and the first five years was spent at the local swimmingpool until the "Fungal Crisis" occured on December 3rd, 2014 and music took over during the coming four years to adapt to the new situation, in which I found aquafulness and new ways to deal with life.

With these new things, I've now got new life experience, and feel that I begin to be ready to make a change in my life. But in order to do that, I need to slaughter old brain ghosts with bias from my past that are preventing me from trusting in the future, and tackle some other problems that arised the last four years, such financial problems and other, and believe there is a way I can get out of this situation and begin a new journey.

Previously I always believed in the past how it would threat my future but I realized I have to stop that thinking. But newspaper reading has make me depressed because it daily writes about such problems I am struggling with or fear would happen which make me feel that I am stuck where I am and thus depressed and stop to care about my life and eat bad.

To do that, I needed a new mental strategy to overcome the brain ghost and believe it MUST possible.
The metaphore for this new mental strategy is how I think when I try to fix a programming problem, and I often do this, although people says it is impossible, because I just don't give up and think "It must be possible" and try until it does!

So instead I create a scenario about how well I am in year AD 2022 has solved all my problems, such recovering fungal infection, found a work, maybe relocation to another city, and then make a Calendar in which I every door until Christmas (and some days after it), unleash new insights on different areas of live that allowed me succeed and be what I am in 2022 with job and fixed my finances and so on.