Door 3 of 24: Gothenburg Apartment on my Wishlist for this Christmas

For this Christmas, I have put getting an rental apartment in Gothenburg on my Wishlist. I don't see any future in Sufferbuying, There is not so much jobs for my qualifications and struggle with finding customers for my company. Music and study loans are my primary incomes but these won't last forever, and I think software engineering is my real path forward, but although I am trying to market myself as a remote freelancer as a way to get occupation in Sufferbuying, the market doesn't really agree with me, Unfortunately, although remote work is getting traction in the tech industry by these days, most employers or contractors want to have the programmers nearby, even if they allow it do remote, just due to the simple reason that software development nowmore are something that is done IN the users operation, not FOR the operation.

So I don't see any other viable options but to relocate to Gothenburg soon, and in the meantime, I am running a sole propriertorship within music, publishing and software development consultation, but the income is to uncertain and low to make it a sustainable living and havet to compensated with freestanding courses with CSN loans and benefit, which adds more struggle as I need . to pass courses, which further complicates the situation as I cannot concentrate enough on the commitments I get which prevent me from making great impression and securing more clients. It is a bad circuit.

Challenges
One challenge when finding apartments in Gothenburg is finding an apartment with facilities such washing machine and driers in the bathroom and don't get chocked by an upcoming renovation that would cause lot of trouble in my life and extreme rent increase.
For the first issue, I think I have to adapt, the luxury of being able to wash and dry clothes in my apartment is a rare luxury and realize think I by the time has to learn how to deal with that task.

But my though is following:

While I live in Lidköping, the dilemma of struggle of not being able to find a decent work, and stick with freelancing consulting and relying on uncertain music incomes and taking freestanding courses with study loan to compensate, my mental "engine" has to work utterly hard for an extreme low efficiency because that I, in this situation, cannot concentrate on what I am best, but spend lot of energy on marketing myself and my products, and being alone, "stuck" in this town feeling like being in jail, I suffering from having the right social net within my reach, because not so much tech people are here, and are expensive and time consuming to get to the places where my contacts live, I feel the only way for me get touch is to spend lot of time on crazy ideas to try to make attention, such writing articles in newspapers, get featured, which drains my mental energy completely and taxes on my personal and company finances heavily due to the high marketing budget I need to have. It feels like I am just falling between my ambitions, "faller mellan stolarna", falling between the chairs, and cannot really get a decent path in none in my ambition. It also gets a bit depressive since I am unable to apply for the jobs that are offered since they are too far away.

On other way I like to have many balls in the air and test new areas such writing books, music, speaking about my disability or so. But the isolation here in Sufferbuying making every action so expensive as I need to travel long distances, and I feel somewhat unsure about the future. The thing above make me overdraft mental energy and overconsume bad kind of food.

Defragmenting the area of operations to unlock more abilities

I believe that if I could move to Gothenburg, I will have a bigger contact need within my reach. In exchange, I would have to make some tradeoff. I might now have to deal with the laundry, but my hope is that the new city will make it easier for me to get to the opportunities and contact net I need to operate my business and/or get an employment. I could now apply for a job, schedule an interview tomorrow and take the tram there in 20 minutes. By that, less mental energy are consumed, and I feel more confident, so I can relax a bit of my other stuff I struggling with, so I free up mental energy, which I can use to tackle the new challenges I face as I now live in Gothenburg and have to deal with these things, in exchange for a much easier way for me to advance in my career.

Now it is the opposite, as I don't feel any way to make a living and a steady career here and unable to find work, and have to live with part time business and taking study loan, I have to spend my mental energy on so much different tasks in this temporary solution just to survive. Study two courses, trying to secure temporary commitment for my company, hoping my songs will continue to spin on the playlist, spend lot of time to market myself to get new clients. It is too much transactions for me just here. And should I find something big deal I could do for securing a career, my city feels like sitting in a jail, I have lot of barriers to breach both financially and physically due to the long distances.

Today, I need to schedule it two weeks ahead, beacuse I need to allocate time, take two trains, go up early. That doesn't work.

And this makes me depressive and drains my motivation so I care less about my living and keeping up with daily tasks such cleaning, brushing teeth and other tasks which could have costly consequences later on.